


Baby I need your love

by Yoonmin_Namjintrash



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Needs Castiel, Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, Fix-It, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Not Beta Read, Suicidal Dean Winchester, The final we deserved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:14:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27706775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoonmin_Namjintrash/pseuds/Yoonmin_Namjintrash
Summary: The final that should've happened.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Kudos: 51





	Baby I need your love

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly the only thing comforting me is that this can't be worse than the actual episode. I tried to do the characters right, but honestly I'm too much of a sheltered child to do that. I wish I could add more Eileen, but jt kinda didn't fit and I wanted to focus to be Destiel, so yeah.  
> Enjoy :)

Dean was not fine. 

He tried to be, Sam could easily see that. He had lived with his brother for 15 years, he so he was familiar with every side of him. At this point it was easy for him to distinguish between Dean's happy and Dean's fake happy face. At first he thought it was because of everyone vanishing, then he thought Chuck,but when Dean's behaviour didn't change after everyone returning Sam got concerned. He refrained from saying anything, because if there was anyone who hated emotional talk more than him it was Dean.

'Maybe he needs time to get better. I'll give him a few days' he often thought to himself shying away from what he knew was an important conversation. 

However, the scene he walked into that day told him that a tough conversation needed to be had. He had left for a run, his goal to stay in shape had him following a strict routine. When he walked in, he felt his heart stop for a second. Dean was out, slumped next to the kitchen cabinets, empty Jack Daniels in one hand, and a slew of empty bottles surrounded him, blubbering and murmuring to the voices in his head.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he repeated, slurring the words out but the emotions still heavy. 

"Hey" Sam muttered " Dean come on, it's all alright" he said, unaware of what he was reassuring. 

"No nothing is 'alright' Sam" Dean half snapped at him "Nothing is alright, and it won't be. You know why? Cas is dead. He's dead because of me" 

Of all the things bothering him, Sam did not expect Cas' death to be the reason for Dean's condition. Sure they were friends, but Cas had a habit of away dying or disappearing, but Dean had always snapped back quick. Hadn't he? 

Before he could continue his thoughts Dean had started speaking again.

"He told me he loved me. He told me… he loved me, and I didn't do anything." he whispered, appearing to have forgotten that Sam was still in the room with him..

"Hey Dean it's fine okay, how about you go to sleep— no listen to me" he said as Dean tried to cut him off "Sleep and then we'll talk about this okay" Sam said, in what he hoped was a gentle tone. He had no idea on how to deal with Sad Dean, so he hoped this approach would work. 

Dean snorted and gave a derisive nod, and stumbled off to his room. Sam watched with a heavy mind, wondering how he could help his brother. 

He couldn't believe that one his first thought was that ' _an_ _ apocalypse would be easier to deal with right now' _

* * *

  
The next morning Sam woke up earlier than usual, and wandered to the kitchen. Last night flashed through his head, and he decided he had to put his foot down on the issue. 

He prepared a pot of hot coffee, and put together a healthy oatmeal. He knew he couldn't cook for shit, so he forgo making anything that would require him to go near the stove. Dean 101 told him that it would require Herculean effort to get Dean to talk before his copy, and sober. So he did what any responsible younger brother would do, Once the coffee was ready poured a mild sedative in the cup for Dean. 

He glanced at the clock, and saw that it was approaching the normal time Dean woke up. Before Dean could arrive Sam went over his plan in his head to ensure success.

Hoping to look casual he started his laptop and sat on the chair, browsing through the news in search of any potential cases. He was almost lost in thought when he heard the classic heavy sounds of his brother's footfalls. He looked up just as Dean entered the room, rubbing his forehead the effects of the hangover visible on his face. 

"Coffee, only thing better would've been bacon with it" Dean said, throwing another one of his fake smirks at Sam.

"Jerk, be happy I made you coffee instead of kale smoothie, which you deserve." 

"And risk being shot in your sleep? You wouldn't dare"

"Yeah, well you're probably gonna shoot me anyway" Sam whispered to himself.

He watched as Dean slowly relaxed and became loose about his movements, and before he could realise or do anything, Sam had him tied to the chair to ensure that he wouldn't be able to move. 

"What the heck Sammy! Have you lost your mind?" Dean spat angrily. His head swayed with the effects of the sedative, but it slowly wore, which was apparent from the hard look that appeared in his eyes. 

"You best hope to Jack that I'm not this mad when you release me, because I swear to whoever is up there right now, that I will blow your fucking brains out for this Sammy" Dean growled.

"We need to talk Dean" Sam confidentally stated. 

"Talk about fucking what"

"How about why you're drinking yourself to death? Or why you, keep apologizing to Cas? Or—" " Don't you fucking mention Cas!" Dean interjected, angrily almost yelling his words.

"What? Are you mad at him or something?" Sam asked confusedly. Wasn’t Dean feeling guilty just yesterday?

"Of course I'm mad at the son of a bitch. He made a deal without telling me, he died– again– in front of me, all because he didn’t trust me. Again" Dean responds with a self-righteous nod, clearly believing his point.

Sam scoffed and pushed his hair back. This was a whole new territory. Delusional angry Dean didn’t fit any of his previous situations. He took a deep breath and decided to be upfront, that’s always advised isn’t it?

“Dean, are you listening to yourself? Cas died to save you, and you know what he has done this before. He has never hesitated to do anything to save you, and by getting drunk and reckless you aren’t honouring him. You know what Cas, forget Cas, you know what any of the people who have died for us want? They want you to live and they want you to be free. Now we defeated God for goodness sake, we are finally free to write our own stories and instead of taking this chance you are wasting it!” He ranted, practically yelling by the end.

There was a hush over the Bunker. It wasn't often that Sam yelled at Dean, but whenever he did, it worked. It did this time too.

"How was it living, knowing Eileen was gone for even a single day? And on that you got to tell her you loved her, she knew you loved her. You know who didn't know the person they loved, reciprocated it? Cas. I never told, never showed, never gave a fucking glimpse of it to him. So alright, I'll try to move on, move on from something that is barely resolved." Dean said, clenching his fists and closing his eyes, regret and anguish extremely evident in his voice

Sam felt out of control. When he orchestrated this ebtore thing be expected survivors guilt or something along those lines. The Winchesters were capable of a lot of things, but emotional comfort was definitely not onw of them.

"Dean, I don't know what to say." 

"Don't say anything just untie me and let me be" 

Seeing no other option, and no other way to comfort Dean, Sam nodded.

"Alright, just know that Cas died for you, he died to let you live. He might not have known, but you dying would be a horrible repayment to his sacrifice" Sam said as he untied his brother, hoping that his words would resonate through him.

Dean barely acknowledged him as he stormed out of the kitchen.

* * *

  
For a few days it truly seemed as though parts of his words had gone through Dean. He wasn't happy or carefree, but he was in control and he was alive.

Of course Sam was wrong. Of course the whole 'moving on' and 'this is what Cas would've wanted' talks were useless. He genuinely thought Dean was feeling better after their stunt at the pie competition, and their drives round the country doing the old day stuff. 'Saving people, hunting monsters, the family business'. Obviously that wasn't true and he should've figured it out.

He barely acknowledged the multiple bottles that were thrown out on a daily basis, the dim eyes nor the quick switch between a smile and a frown. He had thought Dean was better. 

The vampire nest was supposed to be an easy hunt. They had defeated God for goodness sake, they survived Hell, purgatory, possessed by Angels and a whole lot of other crap. Vampire nests were child's play at this point. 

Unless, of course, you were Dean Winchester and didn't want to survive.

He watched in slow motion as Dean grabbed onto the last vampire and threw himself into the wall, the wall with a protruding sharp rebar. He had caught a glimpse of Dean avoiding the same metal a minute ago, and in all his experience Dean never forgot details. He'd been in the business for too long to make such mistakes. But reality was a bitch, and unfortunately this time he couldn't blame Gabriel for Dean's stupid actions. 

As the vampire slid down, body falling with a resonating 'thud' he ran to Dean. Lying limp against the wall, but with a smile on his face. 

"Oh my god, no, no, no, no, no Dean!" he whispered, moving his hand to find the wound, to see how bad it was. 

He moved to get his phone and call an ambulance, or maybe he should just drive Baby himself. Going with the second option, he grabbed onto Dean's jacket and rummaged to find the keys, but a weak hand pushed him away. 

"No, it's fine Sammy, this is the end. Blaze of glory you know. We have fought together, and won together but this is the end. But Sammy you gotta promise me—" Dean started, taking as if he truly believed Sam would let him die of a nail wound. 

"Yeah no, you're living Dean, you said it we're free. This means you get to enjoy that freedom." he replied, gently pulling Dean off of the nail and helping him across the barn to their car.

"Sammy, Sammy no" Dean started "I'm happy with this, I'll see Cas again".

"Dean Cas is in the Empty. Humans don't go there." Sam hesitatingly replied, scared that Dean would forget about this, but before Dean could respond he had fallen unconscious, body limped up against Sam's arms. He dragged his brother to the car, and not giving a fuck about speed limits he drove off to find the nearest hospital. 

On the way there his mind was plagued with multiple concerns: was Dean really in such a bad place that he would just let himself be killed? Was Dean's statement about Cas a blood loss fervered thought, or was it something through their 'profound bond'? He shook his head clearing it of all thoughts and sped through with the night sky bearing witness to his thoughts.

He robotically answered all the questions from the receptionist, and he hoped no one asked about the forms, because he hardly recalled what lies he wrote there. 

He waited in the waiting room for a good hour, and honestly how does it take so long for professionals to take care of a stab wound, they've taken more and survived.

A pesky voice inside his head told him that usually they survived because of divine intervention.

When the doctor left the room, surrounded by nurses, with a quick "you may enter, but he is still unconscious" Sam was conflicted. On one hand he could go in, meaning nothing bad would happen soon, but if Dean was still unconscious it meant he had lost a lot of blood, and the nail could've infected him with something as well, and who knows if this was Dean's last trial.

Hopelessly, he sat down on one of the uncomfortable black seats, head in hand he decided to try once. 

He prayed.

"Hey Cas, it's Sam. I know you're like, dead and in the Empty, but gosh it's just second nature by now. Dean is… Dean is wounded, and I don't know what to do. I don't even know why I'm doing this, I mean you weren't able to hear us before you… were gone, but I—" he broke at the end, unable to keep talking. His breath was heavy and he heaved dry sobs masked all the sounds and it was just him in the world. Alone.

"Sam" an achingly familiar voice called.

Sam whirled around to see a familiar figure. Castiel stood in the waiting room, shirt and khaki pants, the familiar trench coat missing, one he had seen in their car. He drank in the sight of the angel, and then at once he rushed to Cas and embraced him. All the emotions bursting through and leaving him lighter. 

"What? When? How?" Sam questioned, momentarily forgetting the reason he had called Castiel. 

"We can catch up later, first what's wrong with Dean?" 

"Right. Well Dean got stabbed in the back with a sharp nail–" Castiel spluttered at that piece of information "–yeah I know, but he's unconscious right now".

Cas just nodded at that, and without a word turned to enter the room. Sam stayed out unable to move his feet. He was thankful that Cas was back, but he had no idea how, nor if it was good or bad. It all depended on how Castiel and Dean handle their reunion.

Ungluing his feet he walked to the entrance of the room where Dean was resting, and he saw Castiel sitting on one of those super uncomfortable chairs that hospitals kept. He held one of Dean's hands in one hand, and the other gently cupped Dean's jaw, and a quick mutter of Enochian seemed to restore Dean to perfect health. His skin gained back colour it had lost due to the blood loss, and his back relaxed from clenching in pain. 

Cas let go of him and was moved away when Dean appeared to be waking up. 

He looked to Sam, and gripped his shoulder in comfort. All Sam could do in return was nod his head mutely. 

"I'll see you at the Bunker Sam" Cas said, and before he could do anything the angel had flown away. 

* * *

A few hours later, Dean was all set and ready to leave. The brothers quietly walked to their Impala when Dean began to hesitatingly speak.

"I think I'm going insane Sammy. I mean, when I was unconscious, and I swear I'm not lying Sammy, I think I heard Cas. Sammy, tell me, is Cas alive?" 

Dean's eyes looked hopefully over to him. His green eyes brimming with the idea of the possibility, and Sam could almost see that hope holding his brother together. 

"Cas is waiting for you at the Bunker." was all Sam said. 

Hiding a grin, he observed as his previously tired brother almost ran to the car. 

The drive back was filled with nervousness and anxiety. Sam could literally see Dean trying his best to calm down, and not show his emotions to Sam.

' What an idiot, thinks he can hide this shit' Sam thought fondly amused at the notion.

The drive took eternity and by the end both Sam and Dean were praying for the ride to be over so they could get away from the other. As soon as Sam parked the car, Dean threw open the door and practically ran inside. Not wanting to miss, what was sure to be entertaining, Sam quickly followed his lead. 

Once he entered the familiar building Sam saw Dean frantically yelling out for Castiel. They searched through the kitchen, the library, map room, and most of the bedrooms. It was at the final bedroom, which had initially belonged to Jack, that they found their angel. 

As soon as Dean opened the door and first saw Castiel, he was lost. Memories of Cas' death and confession flowed through his head, and he was filled to the top with love and affection for his best friend. Stalking through the door, and reaching Cas in a few steps, Dean roughly grabbed onto the lapels of Cas' signature trench coat and pulled him closer. Sparing no time he kissed him, letting him feel every complicated emotion Castiel made Dean feel. Pulling away Dean cupped the back of Cas' neck and brought their foreheads together. Feeling like an unwelcome guest, Sam quietly left the room, reaching for his phone, to hopefully sort out his mess as well. 

In the room without preparation or prior thought Dean confessed everything he wished he could've told Cas when he was first confessed too.

"There is nothing you could ever want from me, that I wouldn't give happily Cas. You said there was one thing you wanted, which you couldn't have, but I'm telling you, you can. Cas you can have anything you want" 

Both men felt tears well up in their eyes, and before anything else could be said the Angel of the Lord embraced the Righteous Man, breaking away from their fate, and opening their world to free will. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
